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Wala lang.... [21 Nov 2006|09:55pm] Wala lang... Its been a long time since i updated this journal... nothing much happened in my life.. al i want now is to get a job,, get payed and go shopping for christmas... what do you think??? hehehe.... thats all i wanted to do... un lang poh... my lovelife has been the same for the last of couple of years now... un lang... i didnt attented the ad congress... mahal eh.. bakit ba?? hahaha... aus din diba?? hehehe.... Bound Yourself

today.. just this day.. [01 Mar 2006|12:13pm] [ mood | cool ] today... what can i say... hummm.. im not loquacious these past few days of my life... dont know why, cant say, coz i dont know.. probably because my birthday is coming... im turning 19 and still, here i am confused of whats going on with my life... maybe because im not used to this kind of life.. my life is very different when i was in high school, all orgs, all clubs, and the student council i've handled.. all were familiar to me or they know me.. maybe this is just not my time.. haha... when will that time come? i cant even get a high grade now.. maybe because im not studying haha..... muntik na kong malate kanina.. good thing is the quiz havent started yet, thank God! My friend commented me bout not updating this blog, well, here i am at USt library updating this blog and trying not to be sentimental all the time. I am not sentimental, am i? Its just that everytime i write i really get sentimental often times for that is the only way where i can release all things that is trapped inside me, all the words unspoken, even the gestures not shown and the feelings hidden. The words rather left unsaid and the actions rather left undone. Confused, i am i moght say. Tiired of this life thats full of lies and betrayal and suicide all around. I cant wait for summer to arrive but my plan is to get a summer job, i dont want to be ineffective this summer, i want to be productive in some ways. To show everybody i can do it and raise my own money not depending on someone even my parents. Thats my ego talking.... 2 bounded | Bound Yourself

dissapointed.... i am! [06 Feb 2006|10:16am] [ mood | annoyed ] well,,, what can i say.. Whatta day! school's hell, and the cranky bell why is life so boring? in this lonely life, it is so blinding... the poeple all around, their faces seems so bound with loneliness and sadness with grief and coldness.... in this world full of heartaches, this world full of heartbreaks, is life so unfair? to be treated like a teddy bear> to be continued..... Bound Yourself

my endless..... life... [25 Jan 2006|03:24pm] sometimes i dont know the reality from fantasy.... sometimes in life i dont know if this is right or this is wrong... but sometimes when im all alone i think and wonder is life really such a hell sometimes?? in my life, i cant say no to the persons which i love above all... i just cant do it...i just cant say no... what the hell.... it is just so strange.. im feeling so strange about my feelings... whenever im not with this person i'm missing that person and whenever i am with this person i only think that this is enough... and not right.... is my love slowly fading?? is this the sign of an unhealthy realationship... it really bugs me you know... it seems like everytime it is my fault and i am the one who's to blame about everything... i am not like that right??? hai... *sigh* 1 bounded | Bound Yourself

at last updated!!! [13 Jan 2006|11:36am] [ mood | cheerful ] wahaha.. at last i've got the time and chance to update my journal.. hahaha... my christmas vacation was great.. lets say i had a christmas escapade.. hahaha... i spend three days with edel.. and it was really fun, cathching up with the old times... reminiscing,and asking questions we never thought could come up! it was an unforgettable christmas although i got sick... but what the hell, it was really fun... those are the times i could not, never forget... we realized that our feelings foe each other is still the same if only we had the chance... but i dont regret whatever happened to our story.. for we both learned lessons from it and i think that is just not the riht time for the both of us to be together... there will come a time, a right time for the both of us.. but if that time will not come i am still glad we still remained friends... it still does hurt whenever i hear something bout him and his girlfriend but i've learned to accept it, well i gave him advice bout their relationship because of some certain conflicts concerning me and his friends..we are compared in terms of physical appearance ha!! san ka pa!!! hahaha.. yaan mu na/... thats the way life goes... 1 bounded | Bound Yourself

well.... what will i say???? [13 Oct 2005|08:57am] [ mood | cranky ] i have a check-up this coming saturday,,, i dunno whats even wrong with me.... hmmm??? its our last day tom!!!!!!!!!! o gosh so excted right now.... for our sembreak!!! la lang... beach galore!!!! wahaha!!!! right now... im so tired!!!! wah...... hate you hospital!!!!!!!!! Bound Yourself

lll [04 Oct 2005|07:14am] morning.... im here at the comp lab right now... hai...im so stressed out right now... the doctor told me to loosen up a litlle biit ... guess what?? i have a check up this friday again.... whats new??? i just wanna rest... im tired.... i wanna sleep!!!!!!im tired of of thinnking of my school... and other people's problems... last sunday my mom went here to see my new dorm... she liked it... we wemt to glorietta.... and i went home to with three bags of groceries... they thought im not eating.. whew!!! Bound Yourself

whew!! the smile =) [22 Aug 2005|12:29pm] [ mood | apathetic ] well, well, well,, im kinda dissapointed.. really... i dunno... i failed in nat sci. and guess what?? im high in comp, history, and math... wel,,, and my marketing and nat. sci.... im a failure... well im not really used to failing i guess... hai.... hate this damn life... promise next time i'll study much harder... ive saud this a million times now... anyway... we went to this comedy bar this weekend and i had so much fun...really..... hehe... all the gays their are funny.... and i kept noticing this gay because his smile is so captivating... really.... for a gurl or a boy?? i dunno... its just that his simile... hehe.. just the smile ok? im with my everlasting pals.. mot, maane, charina and chie... welll.... i dunno... hehe... im gonna keep this in my mind... when i go to gimmicks i'll never go home to alabang... well.. my titta is so strict!! thats it!!! i have to go home at 11 p.m?? duh???!!!!! the problem with my family is.. they always treat me as a kid!! a baby!! hate it!!! thats why i want to study herein manila because of them... i turned down uplb because of this... dont want to study in la salle because of the standard... well,,, trisem is one.. well actually because i was late for the passing of requirements and the confirmation.. the truth is i never dreamt of going to school at UST.... its just not my dream school.. its either upd, ateneo or la salle,,.... well the problem with ateneo is that i wasnt able to take the exams.. hehe.... 1 bounded | Bound Yourself

=) ala lang.. [29 Jul 2005|11:19pm] [ mood | cranky ] i was absent agan.. yes.... i got lazy... sorry..... but you know what ... whenever i skip classes without any reason at all... i always feel guilty about it.... my friend say just because i know that i can catch up that easy in school im abusing it.. that whenever i dont want to go to class, i dont... well, thats kinda true nowadays.... i reallly hate getting up that early.. i dont want to get up every morning... hm.... im too confident that i can never fail a subject... because it never did happen to me before.. and inever did got a line of 7 in my report card.. just now... when i was in first year i had a grade of 3... shameful... isnt it? and when my mom saw it.. of course so disappointed she was again... hoping i would be a DL... for God's sake.... hehe... maybe its worth a try.. isnt it? im gonna try next sem... lets see... and i know i can... you know? i enjoy my life right now... glad to be in college and have my own money.. be independent... =) saving money right now because of that Replay pants i want... hope i can have it by next wik... =) my mom wont buy me she said it was too much.. its not... hehe... tama lang... =) i always told them that they never had a problem with me.. regarding to my studies... too much expectation is what they had... they've been going to my graduation ang recognition day since i studied... they said and what do you expect to them not to expect from me?? cant blame them.. but its really hard when you start off like that.. expectations when you grow up... will be much bigger.. yes, everybody is expecting i would graduate college with honors... hope i can.. =) but im enjoying my life right now... know what its so amazing.. i havent studied for a single quiz this school year and guess what i still dont get a failing mark.. what do you expect im always in malls... shopping or watching movies...=) my favorite pastime!! I WANT TO BE A LAWYER!!!! un lang.. ala lang... Bound Yourself

First love never dies???... [25 Jul 2005|01:31pm] [ mood | confused ] is this true???..... this is what edel said... we had a deal.. like the deal in the "my best friends wedding" movie??? cool right? we both accepted that its not the right time for us... i was really convinced... he's happy and im happy right now... so be happy in the present... dont regret the past right??? ok na un!! someday.. maybe someday.. ang hirap lang sakin.. im the type of person thats really hard to fall inlove and really hard to mend and forget... i only love once... and when i love, i really love... cant you see... until now just one guy i keep on telling you about... im a choosy person.. its just that im afraid to trust my heart to someone i know i can lose someday,,,... stupid isnt it?im afraid to love... thats my problem... Bound Yourself

dissapointed,,.. little gurl? [25 Jul 2005|01:14pm] yes iwas......... im happy... disspointed.. disapoppppponted... happy.... hai.... when does heartaches stop?? Bound Yourself

absent yesterday,, i am.... [12 Jul 2005|07:33am] i was absent... for i was sick.... kakagala.. hehe... Bound Yourself

stinky cat!!! go away!! [07 Jul 2005|07:10am] [ mood | cranky ] i was early today... i came in 6.45.... my god!!! i was so early, i cant believe it.. hehe... i slept at my friends house in las pinas... i cant sleep on my bed, because of that stinky cat in our dorm.... but that doesnt ruin my day anyway.... ate ven im sorry, but your stinky cat have to go.... Bound Yourself

Good morning!!! [05 Jul 2005|07:03am] [ mood | calm ] good morning!! i woke up early today... about 4:30 a.m... know why? because ate vens cat.. take note siamese cat just peed on me.... i was so badtrip!! well my bed is wet i cant go back sleeping on my bed.. so what i did i just studied.. hope there's something that got stuck on my mind.... hope so.... i was so pissed!!! my god!!!! well i hope that wont ruin my day... i want to go home to alabang because i dont want to sleep on my damn bed!! o me gosh!!!! anyway... i talk to mot yesterday and they are a-okay.... but if i were her i wont allow it to happen.... the problem is im not her.. thats it... i arrived early today.. i was the first one in the class.... i was ready 6:30, hehehe..... i just wanted to update my journal... thats all... Bound Yourself

OMG!!! [04 Jul 2005|11:56am] [ mood | pissed ] oh my god!!! im so pissed because of that damn cwts thing!!! hate it!! i havent been able to surf the net for a long time!! this summer i was in alabang... and there's no computer there!! but i had fun eventhough.. hehe... them this month im always going out.. hehe... i never missed a day going to the malls and watching movies!!! my all time favorite past time.... im always with my friends... especially charina... there's this one time we went to greenhills and we got lost... and she was blaming me!! so i didnt speak all through the ride... fortunately she has a car.... a new black one.. when we were in high school she had KIA... we named her kia because she is kia... then she had TAMIR... hehe.. because her plate no. is TMR.... i missed the high school days where we always go to tagaytay just for 30 mins... just nothing.. trip lang... four of us are always present when it comes to gimikan!! me, maane, mot and of course our friend who never gets tired of driving.... charina!! hehe... i love them so much... we are sisters... more than sisters... we shop for them... i mean when i shop and i remember one of them i buy them something too... mot, maane and i went to same school in elementary... but me and mot were justthe one who is super close.. then tc19 came... we are 9 in our group..... then maane and i are close when we wee still young.... if i tell the story.. its too long for God's sake!! anyway... i missed surfing.... i missed chatting, updating my friendster accounts and my journal... today, i missed everything... i chat with edel last night! i was cold to him... maybe because i was busy... or maybe i dont want to remember him.. especially when im still mending... i still miss him though... whenever i go home to canlubang i want to see him... but i couldnt.. because my mind doesnt allow me to see him.... i never regret everything i did or said to him... matbe this is not just our time... maybe we are not both ready... just maybe... but someday i know we will be together... i dont know why im like this... when i love a person its really really hard for me to forget that person... because i dont believe that you will need someone to heal the wounds.. what is she/he a past time while your mending??? you can do it yourself... not with anybody's help!!! my friends say im a strong person especially when it comes to relationships... yes i am... i have a different perspective in may life... that others would say that i have to much pride... if too much pride is your interpretation, well then.. that is it... but for me.. its my principle, what i believe in... i do not agree that if you love a person fight for him/her.... no! why would you fight for someone??? if he/she really loves you why would anything go wrong??? excluding the family thing you know...... well.... i dont know..... Bound Yourself

b-o-r-i-n-g ............. : did i spelled it right? [09 Apr 2005|01:22pm] [ mood | confused?? ] well.... summer.. oh summer..... hai... i satyed here in laguna just to have that possibility to talk to you in private.... well.. i'll be leaving tomorrow and i haven't got the chance to even see you... yeah, i did see you.... a glimpse... i'll stay at alabang this whole summer i might say... thats it... why "b-o-r-i-n-g : did i spelled it right?" is the subject of this entry... life is a crap sometimes... as i lay in my bed tonight.. i'll think of you.. my old time friend... when will things be ok, i mean totally okay for the both of us... i want the old friendship back. I want my ol friend back. But as what my other friend said, i have to accept the fact that i can never return what has been destroyed.is this true?? the problem with me is i cant still accept the fact that everything had change now... everything is definitely not the same again.. it changed, it did... i dont want it to change but it did.... it really did.... eventhough i dont want it to change... it did!!!! couldnt blame him.... oh god!!!!!! when can i accept that it really did changed???/ when???? Bound Yourself

farewell my past.... [26 Mar 2005|09:05am] [ mood | time to go.... ] farewell my past, i think this is the last, i have to let go of the things i treasured the most with you and me in it, with us in it... dont worry i'll still be a friend till the end, nothing will change, i know in time i'll mend the wounds of the past, that happened so fast, farewell sweet memories, that had happened in a glimpse, forever they will be cherised, in this heart thats wounded by sorrow.. dont worry for i will come back, in time when my heart healed the crack, that had caused my life to stop for a while it took a nap... farewell chilhood, i know this time i could look back to the memories i once treasred the most, for i am now a lady that once was lost... dont worry for this is not the end, this is the new beginning, for our hearts to find a way, a way where all of us can be gay, farewell and so long... this is not a song, this is a poem that Phoebe wants to convey, to someone she cant say... a message i will send, i hope in time your ears you can lend, to the things my heart wants to say, the tears my heart wants to convey, ----phoebe----- Bound Yourself

its all mha fault...... [26 Mar 2005|07:24am] [ mood | need to be calm ] well.. my day is hell... i dont know... the thing is... my brother is angry with me... as in.... her girlfriend broke up with him... all because of me... yes i know, i am the one to blame for all of that... i feel guilty.... well.. here's the story... they had a fight that night... i overheard it because im just watching t.v and i hear him shouting... ugghhh.... they had a fight again.. hu.... the next day i heard my brother saying to my cousun tha if ever she calls tell her that he's not here... and then that afternoon... she texted me asking my brother... accidentally, not on purpose i spilled verything... oh God!!! what've i done.. i really dont mean for that to happen.... now i must pay the price... its good that i'll be leaving tomorrow... yipeeee!!!! hehe.... no more scolding about what happened.. hehe.... i just have to get through until tomorrow... i have to resist the temptation of saying something to him that will really burn the fire..... i need to concentrate.. relax.... relax... breathe..... breathe... inhale... exhale.... 1 bounded | Bound Yourself

semana santa..... hmmm... =) [26 Mar 2005|05:46am] [ mood | awake ] "mahal na araw"... hmmm.... its been a long time now since i got the chance to update this journal... well.. i'll tell you everything i've been through in this couples of months now.... 1st.... last march 04.. i turned 18..... 12:00 a.m of march 03< well it was even before 12:00a.m> i blew my first cake at my dorm... with my supah friends... tintin, sanni and memot... later nalang ulit.. mha brothers angry,.... hehe Bound Yourself

[03 Jan 2005|12:33am] [ mood | bitchy ] every thing is a test... so believe in the power of your dreams......... Bound Yourself

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